This journal entry is being posted on my 25th wedding anniversary! It doesn't seem possible that it has already been twenty-five years since I stood at my wedding altar making a covenant vow with the words "I do" . . . I'm so glad I did!
The fairytale turned out different than I envisioned it, but we have experienced a happily ever after. I was blessed to marry Bobby Apon and God used that union to bring forth great fruit even in the land of suffering. Throughout, God has remained the same - so very faithful. I love Him so much!
Journal Entry - 1985
In February of 1985, God required a big step of faith from me ~ leave my career with Burdines and go full-time into the work of Christian ministry with the Jay Strack Evangelistic Association. Many things led up to this decision, and guidance from the Word gave me direction for me to turn this corner.
My verse for the year that I claimed and sought to take to heart was Job 22:21-29; telling me that in every decision ahead I must be “at peace with Him . . . receive instruction from His mouth and establish His words in my heart”; If I obeyed God in these things, He promised to “hear my prayers, establish my desires and shed light on all my ways.”
His prodding to obedience was in Hebrews 10:35-38, “Therefore, do not throw away your confidence which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised . . . My righteous ones must live by faith ~ if you shrink back, My soul has no pleasure in you.”
God challenged me to obedience through the promises in His Word:
He would answer my prayers
Give me the desires of my heart
Shed light on my way
As a young single, I want to see these things happen in 1985 and want to take God at His Word. The steps ahead were not easy. I experienced endurance and had to say, “Not my will, but Thine be done.” I learned to forget the past and press on to what God had ahead. And, thank goodness, I did ~ for just when I thought I had taken steps down a road I didn’t want to travel; God’s promises began to become clear and abundant. Many prayers have been answered ~ my innermost desires are being fulfilled, and light is being poured out on each step I take.
Let me share with you what happened as a result of my obedience to God and coming to the point where I wanted only God’s will in my life. “For the vision is yet for the appointed time ~ it hastens towards the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries . . . wait for it for it certainly will come ~ it will not delay.”
You may feel that your vision and heart’s desires will never come. I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and your standards high because in God’s time, He will keep His promises and watch out . . . When He decides to move and bless ~ there are no delays! Just hang on and shout, Hallelujah! That’s what I have been doing since Monday, July 8th when God introduced me to “Mr. Wonderful” ~ Bobby Apon, my fiancé and soon to be husband on April 5, 1986.
Bobby sings in the group NewSong. I had listened to their music all summer because they had been with Jay Strack in some crusades. NewSong was scheduled to sing twice in Fort Myers; both times I was out of town. I was disappointed because I wanted to hear the group. On the spur of the moment, NewSong was invited to sing in Immokalee, Florida. When I found this out, I decided to go to their concert changing my plans from going to hear the music group Truth (this was an act of God in itself! – and it shows His sense of humor . . . whoever would dream I’d meet my husband in the great metropolis of Immokalee?!)
Before the concert that night, Diane Strack (Jay’s wife and my matchmaker), interviewed NewSong on our Christian radio station. She cornered Bobby and told him my life story, encouraging him to look me up at the concert. Diane called and did the same with me. Bobby and I reacted in the same way to this scheme---just another “perfect match” that will be all wrong. We didn’t get excited or really think much about the possibility of meeting each other. I went to the concert only because I knew this group sang for one purpose ---to lift up Jesus.
I enjoyed the concert avoiding watching Bobby too much because I was afraid he would think I had come just to see him. After the concert, Bobby was selling records. I walked back to the record table where he recognized me as being Jay Strack’s secretary. We introduced ourselves and began talking. We ended up talking about 45 minutes and by the end of that time…I was “in love” and soaring high! This guy was not only good looking, but he was sold out to Jesus . . . he was sincere and real! That was my first impression and it has not changed.
Bobby told me he would call the next day. I wanted to believe him, but I had heard that line so many times and didn’t want to be disappointed, but I did have high hopes. There was something different about my feelings towards him – could he really be the one?
He did call the next morning and the first thing he told me was that he prayed after we met for God to let him marry me. That’s the one thing I love about Bobby…he is open and honest. This didn’t scare me because I felt the same way. We prayed over the phone for God to guide us in this new relationship believing that this was not a coincidence and that God had something ahead for us if we would center everything around Him and walk / run (in our case) by faith.
The next day, Bobby called to tell me he had cancelled his family vacation. He called his parents and told them that he felt like he had met the girl he was going to marry and he needed to spend his vacation in Florida getting to know her.
Between that time and his vacation, God put a four week time span in between us which allowed us to communicate and grow together through letters and phone calls. We wrote every day and talked on the phone on the average of one hour per day. Our prayer was for all of God’s will, but ONLY God’s will. Before Bobby came down we both wanted to say “we know this is the one”, but we wanted to keep examining and questioning to make sure this was God’s plan and not our own.
Bobby came down to Florida to stay with friends so that we could visit. God had brought us to the point of having the willingness to do whatever He wanted with this relationship, yet we knew that this was it. God began to confirm His will in our hearts with an overwhelming peace along with many answers to specific prayers. Peace is defined as a full-genuine being, harmony, wholeness, and having a sense of rest and contentment – it is unexplainable, but it is there. I had never experienced this before concerning marriage, but after meeting Bobby, I have experienced a love that is complete and mutual. I believe that we have a love that the Bible talks about . . . the phileo love which is the brotherly love – loving the personality and character of each other; the eros love which is the physical attraction and desire to be together; and then the agape love which is the unconditional love the Bible talks about in Corinthians. God gives us love for many people, but I believe to have all three in such fullness, that love is given to us for only one person and I believe that is for your husband or wife, and that is the love God has given me for Bobby and Bobby for me. I know the ones of you who are married can identify with me on this, and those of you who are still waiting . . . don’t settle for anything less than God’s best, because it is worth the wait!
Now I understand the peace that people talk about when they say, “You will just know” . . . because I do, just know. It didn’t take us that long to know either. He proposed to me five weeks after we first met, right before he went back home after his vacation. We made it official two months later with the ring and date.
My Mom and Dad became a confirmation because of the way they responded to Bobby and the love God gave them for him. They also confirmed my move to Atlanta by giving their approval before we asked for it. This was an answer to prayer and there were many more concerning my move and job here in Atlanta. I came to interview for a position in Special Events with Rich’s (same company as Burdines), but after interviewing and receiving a great job offer; I turned Rich’s down and decided to keep walking by faith. I prayed for a miracle . . . that God would give me a job before I left to go back to Fort Myers and He did. He gives to us exceeding abundantly beyond what we could think or ask! I started working as a Medical Administrator for two doctors – urologists of all things. They told me when I interviewed with them that not only was God answering my prayer, He was answering theirs! They were seeking someone who looked at their job as a ministry, yet had the skills necessary to get the job done. Wow!
The last and most important confirmation of all is the way in which God has confirmed this union through His Word. We prayed for that confirmation because we needed the Word of God to cling to know that we were walking in His presence. The Lord first confirmed to me that marrying Bobby was His perfect plan because this marriage will make two single people more effective for Jesus and the ministry He has called us to. Let me share some of the verses God used to confirm this commitment in my heart:
My Spirit bore witness with God and with Bobby’s Spirit. Our relationship had become a message to others of God’s power. Jesus Christ revealed Himself to us and now was revealing Himself through us. That was our prayer and remains our prayer.
I Corinthians 2:6-15 God has plans for our lives that He created before we were even born and He will slowly reveal those mysteries to us. We have the Spirit of God (not of the world with its human understanding) to know the things freely given to us by God. I believe that Bobby has been freely given
to me by God and only by God’s grace are we united together.
I prayed for wisdom concerning my husband even before I met Bobby, asking that I would be able to discern God’s will for me. Wisdom is revealed only by the Holy Spirit and He gave me the peace I mentioned earlier knowing in my heart that God was the one performing this work. (I never would have written this story!)
God showed me before I met Bobby that He had called me to a ministry. For the last two years, I began to believe that the ministry God was preparing me for was to be the wife of a full-time evangelist or someone in the ministry that caused him to be away from home a lot. Because of my independence and having to wait for marriage, I have been made strong and will be able to stand while Bobby is away and will be a support to him. Bobby was also called to a ministry. I believe God has called us, prepared us, and has now chosen us for each other to minister not only to one another, but also to those in the world who do not know Jesus.
Acts 26:16-17 “I have appointed you to minister and to be a witness, not only to what has happened, but what will happen. I will send you out to open eyes and to help others turn from darkness to light . . . from Satan to God . . . at the right time, I have answered your prayer.”
Looking back, I see what God has done in my life and I relate my experience to that of Abraham. When God asked me to leave Burdines, I knew I had no other choice, but to submit and act in obedience. Deuteronomy 8:1 “All the commandments I command you, be careful to do so, so you may live, multiply, and possess the land.”
Joshua 1:8 “Be careful to do all God asks, then your way will be prosperous. You must endure, do the will of God so you will receive what is promised…(the desires of your heart). Live by faith so that you will please God." Deuteronomy 8:2 “Remember the way God has led you.”
I had to go through those six months of transition from one job to another in order for God to humble me, test me, and know that I was willing to put Him first above all else. Like Abraham, God asked me to give up something I loved very much…my career in Special Events. Deuteronomy 8:11-19 “God brought me through a wilderness so that I would know that God is my provider, my El Shaddai, and I must never put anything above Him."
I Corinthians 1: 6-9, "I must thank God for the grace He has given to me, in everything I am enriched by Him…God will confirm me to the end because He is faithful.”
I do love the Lord and praise Him for working daily. Believe me, He is working whether you realize it or not. If you are trying to do all the work, remember what He asks us to do, “Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
This concludes the journal entry of our fairytale romance. Our wedding was quite a “Special Event”. I had 7 bridesmaids, 5 junior bridesmaids, 3 flower girls, and 2 girls to follow after my train. Bobby had 7 groomsmen, 2 candle lighters, and a ring bearer. We couldn’t get away from that number because there was 13 children we were very attached to and could not exclude them especially since we love children. There was a lot of music and the wedding was a worship experience. We felt God's presence there!
