Our Pillar Point Day ~ May 17, 1999 A day that will Forever be in our Hearts

*May 16th ~ God lays a foundation for His Apon happily ever after . . . "I am Husband and a Father to the fatherless."

*May 17th ~ 5:30 a.m.  God continued to prepare with His still small voice, “I will release you today."        A release from the natural to the supernatural.  His ways are higher than ours.

"You scrutinize my path and my lying down, 
and are intimately acquainted with all my ways."  Psalm 139:3

*May 17th ~ 10:30 a.m.   The last interaction with my husband he called home and almost whispered, “I miss you!” 

"You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is too high, I cannot attain to it."  Psalm 139: 5-6

Remembering is part of the growth process.

Tears water the soil and
give strength to keep on walking.

*May 17th ~ 4:00 p.m. I heard God continue to encourage me through the day, "Take the kids outside and play with them."  We jumped on the trampoline, played on the swings, and laughed together."                      If I could have stopped the remaining course of events I would have ~ but then . . .
I would have been God.

*May 17th ~ 5:15 p.m.     Eight unsuspecting children lined up on the curb at Chick-Fil-A eating ice cream cones.  Life and death intersect in the heavenlies.

He believed two lies:

1.  I will never be free

2.  They will be better off without me
Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy                                                                                                  God comes to give life – abundant!

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,"

Even the darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You." Psalm 13:9,11-12

*May 17th ~ 5:30 p.m. As I rounded the corner of my house and saw that his truck was not there, I wanted to run, perhaps even take off to the grocery store!   God spoke clearly, “Groceries will come into the house”.

            Groceries and more have poured in. 
God has provided abundantly.

"My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them." 
Psalm 139:15-16

*May 17th ~ 6 p.m.  Grace and Peace knock on my door along with the police officer bringing the news.

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me,
O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I should count them,
they would outnumber the sand.

When I awake, I am still with You." 
Psalm 139:17-18

*May 17th ~ 7 p.m.  It’s time to announce the news to my children: 

“You have a new daddy!”

“...the glory of children are their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6

BUT

“A father of the fatherless and
a judge for the widows,

Is God in His holy habitation.

God  makes a home for the lonely;

He leads out the prisoners into prosperity.” 
 Psalm 68:5

In the natural I still prefer

to be called Mrs. Bobby Apon,

but in the supernatural
I LOVE having God as Husband. 

*May 17th ~ 8 p.m.  The body of Christ rushes in.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.  But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Our treasury:              

God is Husband

God is Father

Grace and Peace

God still speaks to us in His still small voice

Letters of memory poured in sharing stories of the one we loved.

God’s provision  "The Lord is a sun and shield The Lord gives grace and glory no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."  Psalm 11

God’s peace ~ a peace that surpasses understanding

God’s protection and boundaries for the widow and fatherless

God’s is a promise keeper

God has enriched our lives with a deeper understanding of His Word

God has blessed with an enlarged perspective of the body of Christ

God has given us a greater understanding of warfare, the battle and the Victor

Sanctification

We have walked from strength to strength.  Psalm 84

We have experienced the power of prayer

The Good Shepherd restores our soul

The dark has created open doors to share the Light

God entrusted us with this mystery ~
may we continue to trust Him back.

The journey still takes T.I.M.E. –

Trusting In the Mystery of Eternity,

but we believe it is all for

our good and His glory!

“For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.”  2 Corinthians 4:15

Year after year, May 17th is a pancake and ice cream night as the family gatheres to testify of God’s faithfulness as Father!  Pancakes because that was daddy’s specialty, and ice cream because God knew . . . as we slurped those cones on the curb.

The best part of the night is re-watching the end of the memorial service ~ WOW . . . it is almost worth it all just to hear Billy Goodwin and Eddie Middleton gloriously sing Arise My Love!

May 18th ~ All better (smile)!   "And the God of all grace . . . will Himself restore you and             make you strong, firm and steadfast."  I Peter 5:10

“You called in trouble, and I rescued you;

I answered you in the hiding place of thunder;

I proved you at the waters of Meribah.”  Psalm 81:7 

In the Beginning . . . Obedience

This journal entry is being posted on my 25th wedding anniversary!  It doesn't seem possible that it has already been twenty-five years since I stood at my wedding altar making a covenant vow with the words "I do" . . . I'm so glad I did!

The fairytale turned out different than I envisioned it, but we have experienced a happily ever after.  I was blessed to marry Bobby Apon and God used that union to bring forth great fruit even in the land of suffering.  Throughout, God has remained the same - so very faithful.  I love Him so much!

Our Fairytale Romance

Journal Entry - 1985 

In February of 1985, God required a big step of faith from me ~ leave my career with Burdines and go full-time into the work of Christian ministry with the Jay Strack Evangelistic Association.  Many things led up to this decision, and guidance from the Word gave me direction for me to turn this corner.

My verse for the year that I claimed and sought to take to heart was Job 22:21-29; telling me that in every decision ahead I must be “at peace with Him . . . receive instruction from His mouth and establish His words in my heart”; If I obeyed God in these things, He promised to “hear my prayers, establish my desires and shed light on all my ways.”

His prodding to obedience was in Hebrews 10:35-38, “Therefore, do not throw away your confidence which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised . . . My righteous ones must live by faith ~ if you shrink back, My soul has no pleasure in you.”

God challenged me to obedience through the promises in His Word:

            He would answer my prayers

            Give me the desires of my heart

            Shed light on my way

As a young single, I want to see these things happen in 1985 and want to take God at His Word.  The steps ahead were not easy.  I experienced endurance and had to say, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”  I learned to forget the past and press on to what God had ahead.  And, thank goodness, I did ~ for just when I thought I had taken steps down a road I didn’t want to travel; God’s promises began to become clear and abundant.  Many prayers have been answered ~ my innermost desires are being fulfilled, and light is being poured out on each step I take.

Let me share with you what happened as a result of my obedience to God and coming to the point where I wanted only God’s will in my life.  “For the vision is yet for the appointed time ~ it hastens towards the goal and it will not fail.  Though it tarries . . . wait for it for it certainly will come ~ it will not delay.” 

You may feel that your vision and heart’s desires will never come.  I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and your standards high because in God’s time, He will keep His promises and watch out . . . When He decides to move and bless ~ there are no delays!  Just hang on and shout, Hallelujah!  That’s what I have been doing since Monday, July 8^th when God introduced me to “Mr. Wonderful” ~ Bobby Apon, my fiancé and soon to be husband on April 5, 1986.

Bobby sings in the group NewSong.  I had listened to their music all summer because they had been with Jay Strack in some crusades.  NewSong was scheduled to sing twice in Fort Myers; both times I was out of town.  I was disappointed because I wanted to hear the group.  On the spur of the moment, NewSong was invited to sing in Immokalee, Florida.  When I found this out, I decided to go to their concert changing my plans from going to hear the music group Truth (this was an act of God in itself! – and it shows His sense of humor . . . whoever would dream I’d meet my husband in the great metropolis of Immokalee?!)

Before the concert that night, Diane Strack (Jay’s wife and my matchmaker), interviewed NewSong on our Christian radio station.  She cornered Bobby and told him my life story, encouraging him to look me up at the concert.  Diane called and did the same with me.  Bobby and I reacted in the same way to this scheme---just another “perfect match” that will be all wrong.  We didn’t get excited or really think much about the possibility of meeting each other.  I went to the concert only because I knew this group sang for one purpose ---to lift up Jesus.

I enjoyed the concert avoiding watching Bobby too much because I was afraid he would think I had come just to see him.  After the concert, Bobby was selling records.  I walked back to the record table where he recognized me as being Jay Strack’s secretary.  We introduced ourselves and began talking.  We ended up talking about 45 minutes and by the end of that time…I was “in love” and soaring high!  This guy was not only good looking, but he was sold out to Jesus . . . he was sincere and real!  That was my first impression and it has not changed.

Bobby told me he would call the next day.  I wanted to believe him, but I had heard that line so many times and didn’t want to be disappointed, but I did have high hopes.  There was something different about my feelings towards him – could he really be the one?

He did call the next morning and the first thing he told me was that he prayed after we met for God to let him marry me.  That’s the one thing I love about Bobby…he is open and honest.  This didn’t scare me because I felt the same way.  We prayed over the phone for God to guide us in this new relationship believing that this was not a coincidence and that God had something ahead for us if we would center everything around Him and walk / run (in our case) by faith.

The next day, Bobby called to tell me he had cancelled his family vacation.  He called his parents and told them that he felt like he had met the girl he was going to marry and he needed to spend his vacation in Florida getting to know her.

Between that time and his vacation, God put a four week time span in between us which allowed us to communicate and grow together through letters and phone calls.  We wrote every day and talked on the phone on the average of one hour per day.  Our prayer was for all of God’s will, but ONLY God’s will.  Before Bobby came down we both wanted to say “we know this is the one”, but we wanted to keep examining and questioning to make sure this was God’s plan and not our own.

Bobby came down to Florida to stay with friends so that we could visit.  God had brought us to the point of having the willingness to do whatever He wanted with this relationship, yet we knew that this was it.  God began to confirm His will in our hearts with an overwhelming peace along with many answers to specific prayers.  Peace is defined as a full-genuine being, harmony, wholeness, and having a sense of rest and contentment – it is unexplainable, but it is there.  I had never experienced this before concerning marriage, but after meeting Bobby, I have experienced a love that is complete and mutual.  I believe that we have a love that the Bible talks about . . . the phileo love which is the brotherly love – loving the personality and character of each other; the eros love which is the physical attraction and desire to be together; and then the agape love which is the unconditional love the Bible talks about in Corinthians.  God gives us love for many people, but I believe to have all three in such fullness, that love is given to us for only one person and I believe that is for your husband or wife, and that is the love God has given me for Bobby and Bobby for me.  I know the ones of you who are married can identify with me on this, and those of you who are still waiting . . . don’t settle for anything less than God’s best, because it is worth the wait!

Now I understand the peace that people talk about when they say, “You will just know” . . . because I do, just know.  It didn’t take us that long to know either.  He proposed to me five weeks after we first met, right before he went back home after his vacation.  We made it official two months later with the ring and date.

My Mom and Dad became a confirmation because of the way they responded to Bobby and the love God gave them for him.  They also confirmed my move to Atlanta by giving their approval before we asked for it.  This was an answer to prayer and there were many more concerning my move and job here in Atlanta.  I came to interview for a position in Special Events with Rich’s (same company as Burdines), but after interviewing and receiving a great job offer; I turned Rich’s down and decided to keep walking by faith.  I prayed for a miracle . . . that God would give me a job before I left to go back to Fort Myers and He did.  He gives to us exceeding abundantly beyond what we could think or ask!  I started working as a Medical Administrator for two doctors – urologists of all things.  They told me when I interviewed with them that not only was God answering my prayer, He was answering theirs!  They were seeking someone who looked at their job as a ministry, yet had the skills necessary to get the job done.  Wow!

The last and most important confirmation of all is the way in which God has confirmed this union through His Word.  We prayed for that confirmation because we needed the Word of God to cling to know that we were walking in His presence.  The Lord first confirmed to me that marrying Bobby was His perfect plan because this marriage will make two single people more effective for Jesus and the ministry He has called us to.  Let me share some of the verses God used to confirm this commitment in my heart:

My Spirit bore witness with God and with Bobby’s Spirit.  Our relationship had become a message to others of God’s power.  Jesus Christ revealed Himself to us and now was revealing Himself through us.  That was our prayer and remains our prayer.

I Corinthians 2:6-15 God has plans for our lives that He created before we were even born and He will slowly reveal those mysteries to us.  We have the Spirit of God (not of the world with its human understanding) to know the things freely given to us by God.  I believe that Bobby has been freely given

to me by God and only by God’s grace are we united together.

I prayed for wisdom concerning my husband even before I met Bobby, asking that I would be able to discern God’s will for me.  Wisdom is revealed only by the Holy Spirit and He gave me the peace I mentioned earlier knowing in my heart that God was the one performing this work.  (I never would have written this story!)

God showed me before I met Bobby that He had called me to a ministry.  For the last two years, I began to believe that the ministry God was preparing me for was to be the wife of a full-time evangelist or someone in the ministry that caused him to be away from home a lot.  Because of my independence and having to wait for marriage, I have been made strong and will be able to stand while Bobby is away and will be a support to him.  Bobby was also called to a ministry.  I believe God has called us, prepared us, and has now chosen us for each other to minister not only to one another, but also to those in the world who do not know Jesus.

Acts 26:16-17 “I have appointed you to minister and to be a witness, not only to what has happened, but what will happen.  I will send you out to open eyes and to help others turn from darkness to light . . . from Satan to God . . . at the right time, I have answered your prayer.”

Looking back, I see what God has done in my life and I relate my experience to that of Abraham.  When God asked me to leave Burdines, I knew I had no other choice, but to submit and act in obedience.  Deuteronomy 8:1 “All the commandments I command you, be careful to do so, so you may live, multiply, and possess the land.”

Joshua 1:8  “Be careful to do all God asks, then your way will be prosperous.  You must endure, do the will of God so you will receive what is promised…(the desires of your heart).  Live by faith so that you will please God."  Deuteronomy 8:2  “Remember the way God has led you.”

I had to go through those six months of transition from one job to another in order for God to humble me, test me, and know that I was willing to put Him first above all else.  Like Abraham, God asked me to give up something I loved very much…my career in Special Events.  Deuteronomy 8:11-19 “God brought me through a wilderness so that I would know that God is my provider, my El Shaddai, and I must never put anything above Him."

I Corinthians 1: 6-9, "I must thank God for the grace He has given to me, in everything I am enriched by Him…God will confirm me to the end because He is faithful.”

I do love the Lord and praise Him for working daily.  Believe me, He is working whether you realize it or not.  If you are trying to do all the work, remember what He asks us to do, “Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest for your soul.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This concludes the journal entry of our fairytale romance.  Our wedding was quite a “Special Event”.  I had 7 bridesmaids, 5 junior bridesmaids, 3 flower girls, and 2 girls to follow after my train.  Bobby had 7 groomsmen, 2 candle lighters, and a ring bearer.  We couldn’t get away from that number because there was 13 children we were very attached to and could not exclude them especially since we love children.  There was a lot of music and the wedding was a worship experience.  We felt God's presence there!



For My Good and His Glory

My Personal testimony

Dear Precious Friends,

This is a very transparent story of one of the biggest pillar points in my life.  God spoke clearly to me just before I traveled into the darkest and most painful season.  I share this with you because God showed me a glimpse of heaven when He let me know that He would use my pain – for His glory.  Knowing that He was there before the storm was the hope I rested in each day while holding onto His hand.  That storm has passed and God has been faithful to His promise.  He is good no matter what my perception of “good” is.  If and when another storm blows my way, I will truly say that God desires to use each one for His glory.  Our focus must be on Him and not on circumstances.

You may be in a time of uncertainty, pain and darkness in your own life.  You may be desperate for a vision from the Lord as Ezekiel received.  God is on the throne – God is Sovereign, and He loves to work in our lives in ways that only He can work.

My Greatest Fear Became Reality

BUT God encourages me
that it will be used…

For HIS GLORY!

The children had been in bed for some time.  Abigail was almost five, Kayla three, Brandon two and Christie seven months.  Four children under the age of five called for a regular bedtime at 7:30 p.m. ~ sharp.  It seemed that was my goal from the time we woke up.  The days were fun and full, yet exhausting.  My husband, Bobby, traveled and sang with the contemporary singing group NewSong.  He had maintained the same grueling schedule with this band since he was part of their foundation (for twelve years); singing eighteen times a month not counting the days involved in traveling to and from their destinations.  I knew this was his life and was prepared to be the wife of a man who was gone often.  That never bothered me before marriage or afterwards because of my independent nature.  But – with daddy gone more than he was home, I was left to care for the children alone – after long days, I was ready for quiet evenings.

On this particular night I had checked out an old movie from the library and chose to stay up watching it.  Towards the end of the show the phone rang.  It was too late to receive a phone call so it startled me as it rang.  On the other end I heard a familiar voice, yet different . . . very different.  My husband announced,  “I’m coming home, I’m sick.” 

He sounded sad, desperate and . . . sick.  He was in Macon that night – about 1-½ hours from home.  He told me of his plans to leave the concert with our friend who had traveled with the group that weekend; he would drive him home.  I couldn’t imagine – did he have the flu, a stomach virus?  He was fine when he left home earlier. 

I turned off the movie and went up to the bathroom to freshen up – my practice always before Bobby came home.  As I was putting on some jeans and staring at my face in the mirror the Lord spoke to me clearly.   Yes, Bobby is sick – very sick.  He is coming home to confirm to you that your greatest fear has become a reality.  He has been unfaithful to you in your marriage and is coming home to confess that fact.”

OH LORD!  Please don’t let that be true….but I knew. . . I just knew.  Now I was the one who was beginning to feel sick.

Bondage to lust is a sickness. 

It is a cancer that comes in

and out of remission. 

It is deadly.

It seemed like forever as I waited for Bobby to come home.  What would I say, what would he say – how would life be different?

I had drifted off to sleep when I heard a noise on my front porch – it woke me up and I shook with anticipation of what was to come.

The men quietly came in and our friend called my name.  Wow – Bobby really must be sick if this friend has come inside with him at this late / or rather early hour. It was probably 1:30 a.m.

I went downstairs and sat in the living room – shaking.  I wasn’t cold – I was diving quickly into the kindest, but harshest stage of grief….I was in shock and numb.

Bobby didn’t look well – he had been crying . . .
he was not the same.

Later I realized that the drive home wasn’t an easy one.  Our friend said Bobby had pulled him off to the side just before the concert.  He had held in the secret of his sin for two months and reached a point where he couldn’t go another second without confessing it.  He shared what had happened with this friend who was completely caught off guard with such news. 

It was clear that Bobby had to confess to me.  Confession to his friend is the reason Bobby called and the reason Bobby came home.  They left the concert during intermission.

“I thought he was going to commit suicide right there in front of me as we drove home that night”, our friend said.  I’ve never been so scared nor had he ever prayed that much!

When they pulled into our driveway, Bobby went crazy.  The reality of his sin and now the consequences were more than he could handle.

Sin takes you farther than

you ever want to go and

costs more than you are

ever willing to pay. 

If his family had flashed into his heart and mind before he committed his sin – would he have made a different choice?  Bobby was CRAZY about his kids and LOVED his wife.  But the enemy told him a different story – a lie!  “You can have your “cake and eat it too.”!

Now the enemy was laughing – taunting him….Satan succeeded in pulling Bobby to his side and now left him alone to pick up the pieces.

Bobby couldn’t walk when he got out of the car.  He fell to the ground as a child would who knew he had to confess.  Not in rebellion to that call, but in having to take the next steps.  He literally crawled up the stairs to the front door.  It’s amazing the neighbors didn’t wake to see what caused the commotion. 

Was this repentance?

********

Face to face Bobby stumbled through his confession.  He really was a broken man.

In my numb state, wanting already to fast forward through this life-changing season, I confessed my forgiveness to him.  At the time I thought if I quickly forgave, I could quickly forget.  If I forgave real fast then everything would be okay.  The three of us just sat and stared into space – now what??

Our friend left, and we went to bed.  I woke up the next morning having to face routine and reality. 

I had some calls to make.  The first one was to her.  I had to talk to her for two reasons:

One, I needed to know if she was pregnant.  I didn’t think I could handle it if Bobby was “daddy” to a child that was not mine.  The 2^nd purpose for my call was that I needed to voice my forgiveness to her.  Again – I wanted to hurry up and get it out and over with before bitterness set in.

Bobby dialed the phone (a bit unsettling that he knew her number by heart…ugh), but nevertheless, she answered.  He told her that I knew and that I was on the phone and wanted to talk to her.  I gently stated my purpose for the call and asked my question.  She assured me that there was no way she could be pregnant.  I then announced my forgiveness towards her.  Her response to my statement was not surprising, but difficult.  She didn’t say she was sorry, really didn’t say much at all. 

The brief conversation ended.  No more contact was made except when I bumped into Bobby’s experience with her in my heart – oh how that hurt!  Betrayal is excruciating and suffocating.  I pray that every time I bump into the memories, God will take me to the cross where betrayal took Him.  I understand now more than I could before how jealous God is and how I hurt Him when I put another in His place!

After that, I called my close friend – shared my new secret and then chose to keep it from the rest of the world . . . my family, his family, other friends and NewSong.

We thought this was the best decision.  Again – maybe if it’s a secret, it will go away!

We could patch it up and pretend it never happened.

I stumbled through the day – literally stumbled.  I burned all of the meals, cried through the laundry, and went about in and out of a daze.  I collapsed to the floor several times with the weight of our destiny.  I didn’t want this to happen!  “Oh God!  PLEASE let me wake up from this dream!”

The next morning was Sunday.  I LOVED going to church.  It was a rare Sunday for Bobby to join us because NewSong usually sang in other churches. 

When I woke up on this Sunday I didn’t plan to go.  I didn’t think I had the energy to dress everyone and escort them to church.  Then I had an idea - I announced to Bobby that I was going to church ALONE . . . all by myself!  I needed to hear from God!

Bobby gladly encouraged me to do just that.  He would care for the children and I could have time to worship by myself.  Bobby would hurt me deeper than any one else could, then would come along beside me as a friend to help me walk through the pain…as if he was not part of it.  It was very strange, yet comforting all at the same time!  I ran to him for safety from the mean man in my life, and yet – he was that man!

On the short drive to church, I cried out to God, “I need to hear from you today – I really, really need to hear from you!”  I didn’t know what was going to happen.  I was really scared – four children under the age of five and now Bobby’s greatest fear had become a reality….we were a statistic ~ another marriage that fell into the hands of adultery.  God, I didn’t want this!  How could this be happening?!

I arrived at church, late.  I walked in only to notice that we had a guest preacher that day. I slipped in (or so I thought) and took my place ready to “hear from God”.  I didn’t dream God would make Himself known to me in a way that I would KNOW He had spoken to me . . . He actually heard my cry and chose to answer my prayer!

When the preacher got up to speak – he looked directly at me and announced:

You are in transition, but it will be

“For your good and His glory!”

Well – the prophet got that right – I was definitely in a time of transition!  We did shift gears over that weekend in our marriage!  Yet, I liked the hope given – the confidence God seemed to have – but could I believe Him in this?  Was He really going to use this for good in my life and could He really be glorified through such painful times?

*********

Eighteen years after that pillar point in my life, I can honestly say yes, oh yes . . . I could believe God in this.  Yes, He has used pain for good; and yes, I believe He has glorified Himself. 

He is faithful – oh, so faithful. 

The heavens didn’t roll back, I didn’t see God’s glory as Ezekiel did, but He spoke to me ~ just to me and gave me hope in knowing that He would be glorified.  I could do anything knowing that God was on the throne of my life, and somehow it was all about His glory.

Because of God’s grace ~ His rainbow over our lives ~ He allows difficult times to come and will use them for His glory!  I’m sure Ezekiel often looked back to the glory point of God in His life…..he probably replayed the part where the heavens opened and He saw God on the throne ~ to the point where He saw God’s glory!He never falls off of the throne not for one single moment.  AND ~ God will use everything in your life for your good . . . and HIS GLORY.

“For all things are for your sakes, that the grace which is spreading

to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying,

Yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory

Far beyond all comparison,

While we look not at the things which are seen,

But at the things which are not seen;

For the things which are seen are temporal,

But the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:15-18

The Widow and Borrowed Jars

I love it when God highlights a woman in Scripture that I can relate to ~ a widow.  Our identity is not in our status whether married, single, divorced, or widowed; however, it is interesting that often when God performs a miracle of faith for or through a widow, He mentions her identity . . . widow.  Perhaps He does this just so other widows can be encouraged or perhaps because those He has allowed to carry the title widow have a calling and purpose that only God can fill because of His title Husband to the widow.

In order to excel in our role as widow, we must understand our job description ~ to walk by faith.  We have a clear example of this through the widow in 2 Kings.

When the curtain opens on Act One, our 2 Kings (2K) widow is distraught.  She has circumstances and needs similar to ours…a family, bills, and pain.  She faces these hovering beneath the shadow of grief, yet under the umbrella of grace.

Mrs. 2K just experienced the death of her husband.  He was a godly man; in fact, he was one of the sons of the prophets.  Wow ~ a very important person to the people and to God!  Let’s take a peek into her situation.  Would God allow pain to knock on her door?

The answer is yes He will and He does.  We are never exempt from pain in the economy of God.  It seems that this environment is actually His favorite place to rain His grace upon displaying the rainbow of His great glory.

Creditors have knocked, on this particular day, to summon the precious sons of this new widow!  How could this be?  Her wonderful husband just died, and now the city states they have a right to her sons because of insufficient funds to pay her debt.  My guess would be that we all have received in the mail that post-card from the bank announcing ISF ~ Insufficient Funds!  That declaration in itself stabs at our stomachs, but to face the removal of a child would be a stab to the heart! 

At this moment of need, she cries out for help.  Of all people, she goes to the top prophet in the land, Elisha. Was access to this man of God really as easy as Scripture reads?  Before Mrs. 2K could pack away the past, God had made away for her present.  Before she faced judgment for her debt, God sent the Judge to her defense.  “God is a judge of the widow.”  Deuteronomy 10:18

Elisha asks, “What shall I do for you? 

The answer to this first question would be obvious, “Mr. Elisha . . . SAVE MY SONS!”  I believe a secret lies within his reply.  Elisha himself could do nothing for her outside of the amazing grace of God.

The second question, "What do you have in your house?"  brings us to the place where all miracles begin ~ just where we are.

Her response, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil.”  We know from past Bible precedence that this is the perfect setting for God to work ~ at the moment of last things and resources.  When empty best describes the situation, we know that an eternal purpose is in the heart of God.

She was issued a command, “Go, borrow vessels at large for yourself from all your neighbors, even empty vessels; do not get a few.”

So here she is at her end.  Others now must be included in the story…her neighbors of all people!  I wonder if they had heard the news… “Poor widow (literally) to lose sons because of debt.”  God is certainly able to perform a miracle without the audience of her neighborhood.  However, in this crisis, the neighbors were summoned.  After the jars were collected, the widow gathered her family, shut the door, and poured. 

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  The widow had to step out in faith.  She had to GO to her neighbors (uncomfortable), she had to GET a lot (unquestionable), and she was to GAIN provision (un-natural provision that is) not only for her debt, but for the rest of her life. The miracle took place because of her faith, and her provision was measured by her faith. 

The miracle:  "And it came about when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, 'Bring me another vessel.'  And he said to her, 'There is not one vessel more.'  And the oil stopped.  Then she came and told the man of God.  And he said, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debt, and you and your sons can live on the rest." 2 Kings 4:6-7

We are encouraged that a moving mountain faith begins the size of a small mustard seed Matthew 17:20.  However, in light of Mrs. 2K’s testimony, mustard seed faith is just the beginning of what God wants to do in our lives. 

To the extent of this widow’s faith

was the amount of her provision. 

Do we obey in the areas God calls us to?  Are we willing to include others?  Are there regrets over the amount of faith we offer to God?

EXPERIMENT OF FAITH –

1.         Go to your neighbor (s) and borrow jars for an indefinite period of time

2.         The empty jar represents a need requiring faith for the answer

3.         Trust God alone

4.         Watch for His answer

5.         Return the jar to your neighbor with a testimony of God’s faithfulness!