16 years later - Father's Day reflections 2015

The Mailbox Miracle

Things start to tighten up financially in October as the year comes to a close.  Once-a-year bills are due. The family gathers together more often, stretching the grocery budget.  Then Christmas shopping brings on the grand finale, making my list and checking it twice to bless everyone in my world! 

At half-nest I am also intentionally putting “memory maker” events on the calendar before everyone is gone.  We took a couple of extra mini-vacations feeling that these extra-budget activities were approved by God!  Unexpected expenses followed, bringing me to the point where even Dave Ramsey wouldn’t have been able to make our ends meet!  As the days in 2011 were marked off of the calendar, I knew we needed a God-sized miracle. 

Before leaving home Monday, December 26^th I wrote out checks for the bills in hand, marking their due date on the back of the sealed envelopes.  My savings had been emptied, and the checkbook balance was at zero.  Careful timing of depositing these in the mailbox upon returning from our memory making mini-trip would be crucial! 

Upon returning on Wednesday, I noticed the pile of envelopes and MAILED all of the bills before thinking through my “careful timing plan!”  By Friday I realized that I was in great trouble.  Oh, no . . . I wasn’t supposed to mail ALL of the bills that day!  An idea of how I could help God out came to mind! 
Family and friends had generously joined together to give money towards the purchase of a brand new sewing machine, and my daughter was guarding this gift to keep me from “stealing from Peter to pay Paul!”  A quick call to my Sewing Machine Bank would solve the problem.  Of course, I would be sure to reimburse this sorely needed withdrawal in January.

Friday afternoon, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my precious daughter and sweet son-in-law come to the front door with a large box…a very large box!  What in the world could this be, and what brings them here so unexpectedly?  As I opened the door, they burst in yelling, “SURPRISE!” 

“Oh my!  Oh no!  You shouldn’t have!  You really, really shouldn’t have!”

What a surprise!  Before I could put in my request for the loan, they had taken the gift funds and the liberty to PURCHASE THE EMBROIDERY SEWING MACHINE!  Everyone celebrated with me at the early timing of this great gift.  As we unpacked the sewing machine from the box, tears began to roll down my face.  They were tears of joy and tears of fear!

I prayed myself to sleep that night asking God for a mailbox miracle!  I woke up with the prayer on my heart, “Oh God, ONLY YOU can provide the help we so desperately need at this point.  Please send a mailbox miracle!"

By the time the mailman came on Saturday, I had somewhat forgotten my desperate cries.  Bringing in the stack of mail, I sat it down without looking through it.  Later in the day, I realized that I still had not opened the mail.  I returned to the stash to find a blank envelope nestled in the middle of the advertisements and late Christmas cards. 
Could this be? Is it really . . . the prayed for mailbox miracle!? 

Quickly, but almost trembling, I peeked into the anonymous plain envelope only to find the answer to my prayers.  This gift, a money-order for the exact amount needed in my check book, had been hand-delivered by an anonymous friend I will consider God’s angel.  God was faithful to me once again, and I am thankful for His amazing grace.

Our Inheritance Banks

Light bulb #2 – We must make deposits in our inheritance bank
We are commanded to leave an inheritance for our children’s children (Proverbs 13:22)
While often we think of this command in terms of material possessions; however, our inheritance can include so much more:

“A good man, by being good and doing good, by honoring the Lord with his substance and spending it in his service, secures it to his posterity; or, if he should not leave them much of this world’s goods, his prayers, his instructions, his good example, will be the best entail, and the promises of the covenant will be an inheritance to his children’s children.”  Matthew Henry Commentary

It’s time to start your own “inheritance bank.”  for your children and your children’s children.

What is ONE THING your eyes have seen?  Give an account of when and where God helped you.

Share a memory of a time when you blew it – you lacked faith and did not believe God.  What did you learn from that experience?
Deut. 5:32-33 “So you shall observe to do just as the Lord your God has commanded you; you shall not turn aside to the right or to the left.  You shall walk in all the way which the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which you shall possess.”

Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons; Deuteronomy 4:9

"When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What do the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments mean which the LORD our God commanded you?' 21 then you shall say to your son, 'We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us from Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 Moreover, the LORD showed great and distressing signs and wonders before our eyes against Egypt, Pharaoh and all his household; 23 He brought us out from there in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He had sworn to our fathers.' Deut. 6:20-23

Are we cursed by the sins of the fathers?

From Deuteronomy we continue to learn many important lessons:
1.      The boundaries of the land were clearly marked
2.      They did not lack one thing in the wilderness
3.      They did not need to fear for GOD was the one fighting for them.
4.      Deuteronomy is not a second giving of the law, but a re-stating of the law . . . The 10 Commandments:
Have no other gods – “You shall have no other gods before me.”Deut. 5:7  New “gods” are popping up everywhere in this world and for today’s generations.  We must be very careful to worship only the ONE TRUE GOD.
Have no idols - “You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth.  You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

Light bulb moments provide insights into God’s Word:
Light bulb on the Sins of the fathers ~ Are we cursed by the sins of the fathers?

Ø  The Lord does NOT punish the children and grandchildren because of their ancestors’ sins (Ezekiel 18); however, He permits the sad consequences of those sins to affect future generations, physically, mentally, and spiritually. 

      YES, the sin of Adam has brought a curse upon all mankind. 

      NO, the sin of our physical fathers does not bring a curse upon the children.

      Iniquity = consequences of the sin
NOT the sin itself

Ø  God allows each man to sin for himself (and we do!)

Ø  Our sins will impact our future generations through lasting consequences

Ø  We can turn the tide for one thousand generations by loving God and keeping His commandments

How to Move Forward - Deut. 4

Moses really spells it all out before the Israelites went in to take possession of the land.  I believe these are good reminders for our own lives as well.

Ch. 4 – Direction for Possession . . .

How to move forward:

1.      Listen to God’s direction
4:1 “Listen to the statutes and the judgments which I am teaching you to perform in order that you may live and go in and take possession of the land which the Lord, the God of your fathers, is giving you.”
2.      Hold fast to God
4:4 “But you who hold fast to the Lord your God are alive today, every one of you.”
3.      God is near whenever we call on Him
4:7 “For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as is the Lord our God whenever we call on Him?”
4.      Keep your soul diligent lest you forget what your eyes have seen and lest they depart from your heart
4:9 “Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.”
5.      Teach these to your children
4:10 “Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God . . . Assemble the people to Me, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.”
6.      The Lord speaks in the midst of fire
4:12 “Then the Lord spoke to you from the midst of the fire; you heard the sound of words, but you saw no form – only a voice.”
7.      God took you out of the iron furnace to be a people for His own possession
4:20 “But the Lord has taken you and brought you out of the iron furnace, from Egypt, to be a people for His own possession, as today.”
8.      Watch yourself lest you forget the covenant of God
4:23 “Watch yourselves, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God, which He made with you, and make yourselves a graven image in the form of anything against which the Lord your God has commanded you.”
9.      Seek the Lord and you will find Him
4:29 “Seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.”
10.  God is a compassionate God
4:31 “For the Lord your God is a compassionate God; He will not fail you nor destroy you nor forget the covenant with your fathers which He swore to them.”
4:35 “To you it was shown that you might know that the Lord, He is God; there is no other besides Him.”
4:40 “Keep His statutes and His commandments which I am giving you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you and that you may live long on the land which the Lord your God is giving you for all time.”

We are commanded to leave an inheritance for our children’s children (Proverbs 13:22)
While often we think of this command in terms of material possessions; however, our inheritance can include so much more:  “A good man, by being good and doing good, by honoring the Lord with his substance and spending it in his service, secures it to his posterity; or, if he should not leave them much of this world’s goods, his prayers, his instructions, his good example, will be the best entail, and the promises of the covenant will be an inheritance to his children’s children.” 
Matthew Henry Commentary

It’s time to start your own “inheritance bank.” 

What is ONE THING your eyes have seen?  Give an account of when and where God helped you.

Share a memory of a time when you blew it – you lacked faith and did not believe God.  What did you learn from that experience?
 

Remember God's Help and Do not be Afraid

Chapter 2 – Remember God’s help
2:4       “You will pass through the territory of your brothers . . . and they will be afraid of you.  So be very careful; do not provoke them . . .”
2:7       “For the Lord your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness.  These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing.”

God reminded them that HE HAD GIVEN THEM POSSESSION!  Again, do you know God’s promises?  Do you know what you already possess from the hand of God?

Chapter 3 – Do not be afraid 
3:2“Do not fear him, for I have delivered him and all his people and his land into your hand...”
3:5-6    “All these were cities fortified with high walls, gates and bars, besides a great many unwalled towns.  AND WE UTTERLY DESTROYED THEM . . .”

God was God – Moses’ made an appeal for God to allow him to enter the Promised Land, but God said no.  Moses represented the law of God which should ONLY ALWAYS bring us to the grace of God.  A neat tidbit to know at this point is that Joshua was the one to lead the people into the Promised Land.  Do you know what Joshua’s name means?  JESUS! 
Only faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will allow one to enter into the Promised Land!

Promises about the Unknown Lands in our Lives

Deuteronomy 1:30      “The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, just as a man carried his son, in all the way which you have walked, until you came to this place.”

 Their mistake . . . “But for all this, you did not trust the Lord your God, who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way in which you should go.”

 Oh God – may I remember and not forget!

Deuteronomy Ch. 1 – It is a sin NOT to believe God

1:6-7    “You have stayed long enough at this mountain . . . turn and set your journey.”
Wow – great things lie ahead in the land of the widow!  Turn your heart towards the journey God has put before you!

1:8       “See, I have placed the land before you; go in and possess the land . . .” 
Even if you don’t want to. 
Even if it seems scary, and even if it is uncertain! 
God has called you to this new season and He will be with you as you go!

1:13     “Choose wise and discerning and experienced men from your tribes…” 
Okay ladies, it would be better if you chose wise, discerning, and experienced LADIES to assist you as you go!  One of the greatest things God had Moses do when he was caving under the load, was to ask for help!  Remember when he pulled together 70 men to offer counsel and help to him in the wilderness?  You don’t have to go it alone.  If you are a widow-mom, be intentional about putting mentors in your life to counsel YOU and to help with your children.  We need each other including the body of Christ in our lives is God’s original idea.

They remembered Kadesh Barnea.  What in the world and where in the world is Kadesh Barnea?  What is so significant about this pillar point that will help me in my own walk with the Lord?

This is the place of their huge mistake – they did not believe God!  WOW!  It is a big deal NOT to believe God!  In order to believe God, we must know what we believe Him for!  We must know and stand on the promises of God ~ He expects us to!

UNBELIEF IS A SIN – “We have sinned against the Lord.”  Deut. 1:41

Isn’t it easy to list ten reasons why we should not, could not, and will not believe God for ____________ (you fill in the blank).  The Israelites certainly had their reasons:  the land was fortified with walls, it was daunting, had enemies, and it was unknown and unfamiliar territory.
BUT GOD – had promised to give this land to them and promised to go before them and with them.

Take time to write out some of the promises for the widow today.
Ask the Lord to help you in your areas of unbelief.

Remember and Do Not Forget - Deuteronomy 1-4

January 16, 2012

Remember and Do Not Forget

I don’t know about you, but I still find it very hard to digest the fact that the time to travel through the wilderness should have only taken eleven days  . . . ELEVEN DAYS yet, they spent forty years there.  This speaks volumes to me. 

This causes me to ponder my own life . . . 

Are there wilderness patches I am stuck in? 
Is there a Promised Land that I have been given I’m not willing to embrace?

Two admonitions stand out from the book of Deuteronomy: 

1.     Remember
2.     Do not forget

They may seem to be one in the same, but if you are like me

it takes effort to “remember” and then an act of God to “not forget!” 
Maybe this comes with old age, but it is a skill worth acquiring
and practicing every single day.

Stay tuned for the highlights from the first four chapters of Deuteronomy. 

Take time to read through Deuteronomy 1-4 this week. 

I know the Lord will bless your time with Him!

Learning from the book of Numbers

It's been a while since I posted on this blog for widows.  I hope to include brief summaries from our lessons each week in God's Word which will never return back void!

There are lessons to be learned from our overview in Numbers.  The greatest impact on me was from Numbers 4.  God numbered the first (old) generation and assigned each man by name the load he was to carry.  Some carried boards and bars, others the pillars and sockets, while another family lifted the pegs and cords.  These assignments might have seemed trivial and routine, but they were very important in order for the tabernacle to move across the wilderness.  8500 men had a specific task.  God eventually set aside the old generation to set apart the new.

Ladies, this still happens today.  What difference are we making our next generation?                      As we begin another new year, God reminds us of the load we have been assigned to carry as a widow.  Personally, I believe it's a calling: 

"Show hospitality to strangers

Wash the saint's feet

Assist those in distress

Devote ourselves to every good work"

I Timothy 5

May the Lord clarify personally His assignment for  you at the beginning of this new year!

Our Pillar Point Day ~ May 17, 1999 A day that will Forever be in our Hearts

*May 16th ~ God lays a foundation for His Apon happily ever after . . . "I am Husband and a Father to the fatherless."

*May 17th ~ 5:30 a.m.  God continued to prepare with His still small voice, “I will release you today."        A release from the natural to the supernatural.  His ways are higher than ours.

"You scrutinize my path and my lying down, 
and are intimately acquainted with all my ways."  Psalm 139:3

*May 17th ~ 10:30 a.m.   The last interaction with my husband he called home and almost whispered, “I miss you!” 

"You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is too high, I cannot attain to it."  Psalm 139: 5-6

Remembering is part of the growth process.

Tears water the soil and
give strength to keep on walking.

*May 17th ~ 4:00 p.m. I heard God continue to encourage me through the day, "Take the kids outside and play with them."  We jumped on the trampoline, played on the swings, and laughed together."                      If I could have stopped the remaining course of events I would have ~ but then . . .
I would have been God.

*May 17th ~ 5:15 p.m.     Eight unsuspecting children lined up on the curb at Chick-Fil-A eating ice cream cones.  Life and death intersect in the heavenlies.

He believed two lies:

1.  I will never be free

2.  They will be better off without me
Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy                                                                                                  God comes to give life – abundant!

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,"

Even the darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You." Psalm 13:9,11-12

*May 17th ~ 5:30 p.m. As I rounded the corner of my house and saw that his truck was not there, I wanted to run, perhaps even take off to the grocery store!   God spoke clearly, “Groceries will come into the house”.

            Groceries and more have poured in. 
God has provided abundantly.

"My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them." 
Psalm 139:15-16

*May 17th ~ 6 p.m.  Grace and Peace knock on my door along with the police officer bringing the news.

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me,
O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I should count them,
they would outnumber the sand.

When I awake, I am still with You." 
Psalm 139:17-18

*May 17th ~ 7 p.m.  It’s time to announce the news to my children: 

“You have a new daddy!”

“...the glory of children are their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6

BUT

“A father of the fatherless and
a judge for the widows,

Is God in His holy habitation.

God  makes a home for the lonely;

He leads out the prisoners into prosperity.” 
 Psalm 68:5

In the natural I still prefer

to be called Mrs. Bobby Apon,

but in the supernatural
I LOVE having God as Husband. 

*May 17th ~ 8 p.m.  The body of Christ rushes in.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.  But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Our treasury:              

God is Husband

God is Father

Grace and Peace

God still speaks to us in His still small voice

Letters of memory poured in sharing stories of the one we loved.

God’s provision  "The Lord is a sun and shield The Lord gives grace and glory no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."  Psalm 11

God’s peace ~ a peace that surpasses understanding

God’s protection and boundaries for the widow and fatherless

God’s is a promise keeper

God has enriched our lives with a deeper understanding of His Word

God has blessed with an enlarged perspective of the body of Christ

God has given us a greater understanding of warfare, the battle and the Victor

Sanctification

We have walked from strength to strength.  Psalm 84

We have experienced the power of prayer

The Good Shepherd restores our soul

The dark has created open doors to share the Light

God entrusted us with this mystery ~
may we continue to trust Him back.

The journey still takes T.I.M.E. –

Trusting In the Mystery of Eternity,

but we believe it is all for

our good and His glory!

“For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.”  2 Corinthians 4:15

Year after year, May 17th is a pancake and ice cream night as the family gatheres to testify of God’s faithfulness as Father!  Pancakes because that was daddy’s specialty, and ice cream because God knew . . . as we slurped those cones on the curb.

The best part of the night is re-watching the end of the memorial service ~ WOW . . . it is almost worth it all just to hear Billy Goodwin and Eddie Middleton gloriously sing Arise My Love!

May 18th ~ All better (smile)!   "And the God of all grace . . . will Himself restore you and             make you strong, firm and steadfast."  I Peter 5:10

“You called in trouble, and I rescued you;

I answered you in the hiding place of thunder;

I proved you at the waters of Meribah.”  Psalm 81:7 

In the Beginning . . . Obedience

This journal entry is being posted on my 25th wedding anniversary!  It doesn't seem possible that it has already been twenty-five years since I stood at my wedding altar making a covenant vow with the words "I do" . . . I'm so glad I did!

The fairytale turned out different than I envisioned it, but we have experienced a happily ever after.  I was blessed to marry Bobby Apon and God used that union to bring forth great fruit even in the land of suffering.  Throughout, God has remained the same - so very faithful.  I love Him so much!

Our Fairytale Romance

Journal Entry - 1985 

In February of 1985, God required a big step of faith from me ~ leave my career with Burdines and go full-time into the work of Christian ministry with the Jay Strack Evangelistic Association.  Many things led up to this decision, and guidance from the Word gave me direction for me to turn this corner.

My verse for the year that I claimed and sought to take to heart was Job 22:21-29; telling me that in every decision ahead I must be “at peace with Him . . . receive instruction from His mouth and establish His words in my heart”; If I obeyed God in these things, He promised to “hear my prayers, establish my desires and shed light on all my ways.”

His prodding to obedience was in Hebrews 10:35-38, “Therefore, do not throw away your confidence which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised . . . My righteous ones must live by faith ~ if you shrink back, My soul has no pleasure in you.”

God challenged me to obedience through the promises in His Word:

            He would answer my prayers

            Give me the desires of my heart

            Shed light on my way

As a young single, I want to see these things happen in 1985 and want to take God at His Word.  The steps ahead were not easy.  I experienced endurance and had to say, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”  I learned to forget the past and press on to what God had ahead.  And, thank goodness, I did ~ for just when I thought I had taken steps down a road I didn’t want to travel; God’s promises began to become clear and abundant.  Many prayers have been answered ~ my innermost desires are being fulfilled, and light is being poured out on each step I take.

Let me share with you what happened as a result of my obedience to God and coming to the point where I wanted only God’s will in my life.  “For the vision is yet for the appointed time ~ it hastens towards the goal and it will not fail.  Though it tarries . . . wait for it for it certainly will come ~ it will not delay.” 

You may feel that your vision and heart’s desires will never come.  I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and your standards high because in God’s time, He will keep His promises and watch out . . . When He decides to move and bless ~ there are no delays!  Just hang on and shout, Hallelujah!  That’s what I have been doing since Monday, July 8^th when God introduced me to “Mr. Wonderful” ~ Bobby Apon, my fiancé and soon to be husband on April 5, 1986.

Bobby sings in the group NewSong.  I had listened to their music all summer because they had been with Jay Strack in some crusades.  NewSong was scheduled to sing twice in Fort Myers; both times I was out of town.  I was disappointed because I wanted to hear the group.  On the spur of the moment, NewSong was invited to sing in Immokalee, Florida.  When I found this out, I decided to go to their concert changing my plans from going to hear the music group Truth (this was an act of God in itself! – and it shows His sense of humor . . . whoever would dream I’d meet my husband in the great metropolis of Immokalee?!)

Before the concert that night, Diane Strack (Jay’s wife and my matchmaker), interviewed NewSong on our Christian radio station.  She cornered Bobby and told him my life story, encouraging him to look me up at the concert.  Diane called and did the same with me.  Bobby and I reacted in the same way to this scheme---just another “perfect match” that will be all wrong.  We didn’t get excited or really think much about the possibility of meeting each other.  I went to the concert only because I knew this group sang for one purpose ---to lift up Jesus.

I enjoyed the concert avoiding watching Bobby too much because I was afraid he would think I had come just to see him.  After the concert, Bobby was selling records.  I walked back to the record table where he recognized me as being Jay Strack’s secretary.  We introduced ourselves and began talking.  We ended up talking about 45 minutes and by the end of that time…I was “in love” and soaring high!  This guy was not only good looking, but he was sold out to Jesus . . . he was sincere and real!  That was my first impression and it has not changed.

Bobby told me he would call the next day.  I wanted to believe him, but I had heard that line so many times and didn’t want to be disappointed, but I did have high hopes.  There was something different about my feelings towards him – could he really be the one?

He did call the next morning and the first thing he told me was that he prayed after we met for God to let him marry me.  That’s the one thing I love about Bobby…he is open and honest.  This didn’t scare me because I felt the same way.  We prayed over the phone for God to guide us in this new relationship believing that this was not a coincidence and that God had something ahead for us if we would center everything around Him and walk / run (in our case) by faith.

The next day, Bobby called to tell me he had cancelled his family vacation.  He called his parents and told them that he felt like he had met the girl he was going to marry and he needed to spend his vacation in Florida getting to know her.

Between that time and his vacation, God put a four week time span in between us which allowed us to communicate and grow together through letters and phone calls.  We wrote every day and talked on the phone on the average of one hour per day.  Our prayer was for all of God’s will, but ONLY God’s will.  Before Bobby came down we both wanted to say “we know this is the one”, but we wanted to keep examining and questioning to make sure this was God’s plan and not our own.

Bobby came down to Florida to stay with friends so that we could visit.  God had brought us to the point of having the willingness to do whatever He wanted with this relationship, yet we knew that this was it.  God began to confirm His will in our hearts with an overwhelming peace along with many answers to specific prayers.  Peace is defined as a full-genuine being, harmony, wholeness, and having a sense of rest and contentment – it is unexplainable, but it is there.  I had never experienced this before concerning marriage, but after meeting Bobby, I have experienced a love that is complete and mutual.  I believe that we have a love that the Bible talks about . . . the phileo love which is the brotherly love – loving the personality and character of each other; the eros love which is the physical attraction and desire to be together; and then the agape love which is the unconditional love the Bible talks about in Corinthians.  God gives us love for many people, but I believe to have all three in such fullness, that love is given to us for only one person and I believe that is for your husband or wife, and that is the love God has given me for Bobby and Bobby for me.  I know the ones of you who are married can identify with me on this, and those of you who are still waiting . . . don’t settle for anything less than God’s best, because it is worth the wait!

Now I understand the peace that people talk about when they say, “You will just know” . . . because I do, just know.  It didn’t take us that long to know either.  He proposed to me five weeks after we first met, right before he went back home after his vacation.  We made it official two months later with the ring and date.

My Mom and Dad became a confirmation because of the way they responded to Bobby and the love God gave them for him.  They also confirmed my move to Atlanta by giving their approval before we asked for it.  This was an answer to prayer and there were many more concerning my move and job here in Atlanta.  I came to interview for a position in Special Events with Rich’s (same company as Burdines), but after interviewing and receiving a great job offer; I turned Rich’s down and decided to keep walking by faith.  I prayed for a miracle . . . that God would give me a job before I left to go back to Fort Myers and He did.  He gives to us exceeding abundantly beyond what we could think or ask!  I started working as a Medical Administrator for two doctors – urologists of all things.  They told me when I interviewed with them that not only was God answering my prayer, He was answering theirs!  They were seeking someone who looked at their job as a ministry, yet had the skills necessary to get the job done.  Wow!

The last and most important confirmation of all is the way in which God has confirmed this union through His Word.  We prayed for that confirmation because we needed the Word of God to cling to know that we were walking in His presence.  The Lord first confirmed to me that marrying Bobby was His perfect plan because this marriage will make two single people more effective for Jesus and the ministry He has called us to.  Let me share some of the verses God used to confirm this commitment in my heart:

My Spirit bore witness with God and with Bobby’s Spirit.  Our relationship had become a message to others of God’s power.  Jesus Christ revealed Himself to us and now was revealing Himself through us.  That was our prayer and remains our prayer.

I Corinthians 2:6-15 God has plans for our lives that He created before we were even born and He will slowly reveal those mysteries to us.  We have the Spirit of God (not of the world with its human understanding) to know the things freely given to us by God.  I believe that Bobby has been freely given

to me by God and only by God’s grace are we united together.

I prayed for wisdom concerning my husband even before I met Bobby, asking that I would be able to discern God’s will for me.  Wisdom is revealed only by the Holy Spirit and He gave me the peace I mentioned earlier knowing in my heart that God was the one performing this work.  (I never would have written this story!)

God showed me before I met Bobby that He had called me to a ministry.  For the last two years, I began to believe that the ministry God was preparing me for was to be the wife of a full-time evangelist or someone in the ministry that caused him to be away from home a lot.  Because of my independence and having to wait for marriage, I have been made strong and will be able to stand while Bobby is away and will be a support to him.  Bobby was also called to a ministry.  I believe God has called us, prepared us, and has now chosen us for each other to minister not only to one another, but also to those in the world who do not know Jesus.

Acts 26:16-17 “I have appointed you to minister and to be a witness, not only to what has happened, but what will happen.  I will send you out to open eyes and to help others turn from darkness to light . . . from Satan to God . . . at the right time, I have answered your prayer.”

Looking back, I see what God has done in my life and I relate my experience to that of Abraham.  When God asked me to leave Burdines, I knew I had no other choice, but to submit and act in obedience.  Deuteronomy 8:1 “All the commandments I command you, be careful to do so, so you may live, multiply, and possess the land.”

Joshua 1:8  “Be careful to do all God asks, then your way will be prosperous.  You must endure, do the will of God so you will receive what is promised…(the desires of your heart).  Live by faith so that you will please God."  Deuteronomy 8:2  “Remember the way God has led you.”

I had to go through those six months of transition from one job to another in order for God to humble me, test me, and know that I was willing to put Him first above all else.  Like Abraham, God asked me to give up something I loved very much…my career in Special Events.  Deuteronomy 8:11-19 “God brought me through a wilderness so that I would know that God is my provider, my El Shaddai, and I must never put anything above Him."

I Corinthians 1: 6-9, "I must thank God for the grace He has given to me, in everything I am enriched by Him…God will confirm me to the end because He is faithful.”

I do love the Lord and praise Him for working daily.  Believe me, He is working whether you realize it or not.  If you are trying to do all the work, remember what He asks us to do, “Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest for your soul.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This concludes the journal entry of our fairytale romance.  Our wedding was quite a “Special Event”.  I had 7 bridesmaids, 5 junior bridesmaids, 3 flower girls, and 2 girls to follow after my train.  Bobby had 7 groomsmen, 2 candle lighters, and a ring bearer.  We couldn’t get away from that number because there was 13 children we were very attached to and could not exclude them especially since we love children.  There was a lot of music and the wedding was a worship experience.  We felt God's presence there!